Oh No...Not Again!

Surprise...surprise...Jim Sterling has written another article about Bayonetta. "How Bayonetta is blatantly hotter than your girlfriend" is one in a long line of articles where Jim has made me wonder what exactly he is over compensating for. Make sure you check out his article from the above link. Here is my response:

She technically walks around naked ALL THE TIME:
I spend most of my day naked and I don't cover it by hair.

Having a suit made of hair is actually hot and not disgusting:
Did you know that more bacteria grows on hair than the inside lock on a bathroom stall door? That is why body hair is called a scent trap.

She kills angels:
As you said, angels don't exist...neither does Bayonetta

Supermodel proportions:
Wait a minute. Did you read what you wrote? "...she is also based upon the hottest examples of physical perfection in the world." Then you followed it with, "...but actually they're not attractive at all." So, does she look like a supermodel or not? Are supermodels hot or not?

She will gyrate her hips on command, for free:
You have to pay women? Sucks to be you. By the way, even Hitler had a girlfriend that he didn't have to pay.

Bayonetta has guns strapped to her feet:
Sorry, I don't do the foot fetish thing. Putting something near someone's feet does not automatically make it sexy.

She can summon BDSM devices at will:
Not sure that a guillotine is the same as nipple clamps. Besides, the guillotine was invented as a more humane way of execution. It's purpose was not to humiliate, but to kill people quickly instead of using multiple strikes with an axe or sword.

She doesn't look like Sarah Palin:
The shear fact that you had to bring this up is a pretty good sign that there is a strong resemblance.

You can press her buttons anytime:
"Bayonetta is obviously a woman who will respond to any and all imput..." Hey, don't blame women for your inability to satisfy. It really isn't that complicated.

Just fucking look at her!:
Yes, that is EXACTLY the problem. That is all you can actually do. The real thing is so much better.

I am really starting to wonder if I am going to like Bayonetta. I was really excited about this game but, thanks to Jim, I am starting to think that Bayonetta might just be more slutty than sexy. Maybe being a female has clouded my perception, but I think that constantly being told how hot someone is just isn't sexy. I guess that means that my pre-first impression is that the over sexualized nature of this game is going to annoy me, but I hope that Bayonetta proves me wrong.

Judge for yourself:
Bayonetta (360)
Bayonetta (PS3)